The Do's and Don'ts of Dual Relationships

A dual relationship refers to the situation where two people interact with each other in a variety of settings that change the context of how they relate. Some prefer the term "multidimensional relationship" since often, the different ways people are connected can be quite complex and interwoven. Examples of dual or multidimensional relationships that massage therapists find themselves in include giving massage for compensation to a:

- boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.
- business partner.
- close friend.
- family member.
- neighbor.

These are just some simple, commonly encountered scenarios. In many healthcare and other professional fields, dual relationships are either greatly discouraged and frowned upon, or strictly prohibited. For massage therapists, dual relationships do not tend to be forbidden, but rather, massage therapists are encouraged to maintain clear, healthy, ethical boundaries, with clients who are also known in other contexts. With these people, boundaries are perhaps more important than with other clients, simply because the client will be more likely to want to blur the lines between the different relationships.

As an example, a close friend comes to you for a table or chair massage session. She may feel inclined to carry on talking with you as she would if you had met to have coffee together and catch up. You, in your role as a massage therapist, must find a way to communicate to her that the table or chair massage session is her time to relax and be the client, not the friend.

In another example, there is attraction between you and one of your clients. You spend most of the table or chair massage session flirting and getting to know each other. You are unable to focus on the bodywork they came to you for. If you both agree that you want to pursue the romantic interest you have in each other, you need to refer your client to another massage therapist. Even if you don't pursue the relationship, but the feelings remain, you may still need to stop working on the client in order to maintain the integrity of your professional boundaries.

Maintaining a clear separation of professional and personal lives can be very difficult for some people to ever feel comfortable with. If it is too difficult for either party to set aside the more personal relationship during the bodywork session, the therapist may need to refer that client to someone not so close to them.

Some dangers or discomforts that a dual relationship can create are:

- Difficulty in asking for money.
- Difficulty in upholding late and no-show policies.
- Feeling unable to refuse them as a client.
- Never being "off-duty"- Friends and family asking for work outside of a table or chair massage session.
- Friendly, but ill-timed chatter during a table or chair massage session.